sound, fury, etc.
So Momus thinks I should be photoblogging, and who am I to argue? This one’s from my recent trip to the zoo…
It occured to me shortly after taking this picture that people-watching in the primate exhibit is a strangely trippy experience. It occurs to me now that if I am going to start posting more photos to this site, I am going to have to upgrade my hosting plan to include more storage! That’s OK though, as I already pay an obscenely low price for some truly professional caliber hosting…
I heard tell that there are these “Button Dispensing” machines at various locations around Chicago. Not only that, but right now they’re paying off in Chris Ware buttons! Sweet…
Looks like Movable Type is getting ready to go big time! (For those who are unfamiliar, Movable Type is the software that keeps this website (and countless others) running smoothly.) All you need to get started is a web host that supports PHP (and hopefully mySQL) and then you too can publish whatever you damn well feel like without seeing so much as a single HTML table tag! (Not that I don’t like looking at HTML, but I find it much more efficient and rewarding to spend a few hours knocking out a perfect, flexible template and then using MT to dump content into it.) At any rate, MT has secured some venture capital and are preparing to launch a pre-configured / hosting included version of their software, allowing potential publishers to forego even the (simple!) PHP setup now required for starting a blog! This service will be called TypePad and will be a direct competitor for Blogger (recently purchased by Google.) At any rate, I wish both companies the best of luck as I’m sure this competition will only increase the already rapid rate of application development in the blog community. Mark my words, someday soon the self-publishing movement is going to deliver a good solid boot right in the ass of the RIAA, network news and the MPAA! Or mabye not, but we can dream, right? In my fantasy-world, I like to imagine that web publishing and distribution is at least as important, if not several orders of magnitude more important, than the Gutenberg printing press. Clearly somebody agrees with me, otherwise why would it be called Movable Type, huh? =)
Apparently PBR is selling like hotcakes among the hipster set. Why?
The increase comes the way a populist trend should: from the ground up. Pabst is Consumer Lite, a refreshing blend of economy and Americana, without all the heavy marketing campaigns, the greasy reinvention, the paid celebrity endorsements. It represents simpler times — how nice in a world of corporate scandals and missing persons, 24-hour news, terrorism and burst economies.
Is it just me or does that sound like a marketing campaign? This whole article is full of these Couplandian zingers! Here’s another:
Pabst’s value lies in its expression of individuality and choice, a rejection of consumer society by those who feel manipulated by it.
God, is that really what I’ve been doing when I drink Pabst? I think I’m just going to have to give up beer entirely, it’s just too politically charged!
To paraphrase Lewis Black, “I’m just going to link directly to the headline for this story, cause I don’t have the time or energy to make shit up anymore!”
You Learn Kung-Fu! You Learn English! You Assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia! =)
Easter Again… The day when families all across American hide eggs and eat chocolate and ponder crucifixion (okay, maybe not so much that last one, but we can forgive this minor oversight, no? =) Anyhow, this is a very special Easter, I’m sure I don’t have to remind you. Our High Priest’s prayers have all been gloriously answered, and there is peace tonight in the oil fields of Iraq, and this is surely what Jesus had in mind when he built the first SUV, over 2000 years ago! Anyway, in light of all this back-slapping and self-congratualtory fanfare, I got to thinking… President Bush is a pretty damn influential guy; I mean, his approval rating is over 73 percent as of right now, and his military manfulness is without equal. And this guy is totally down with Jesus! So with friends like these, how in hell did JC get nailed to a plank of wood in full view and with the blessing of Roman leadership so many years ago? I mean, did they not see how Imperialism-friendly Christ was? I’m sure he could have helped them out with their terrorism issues if only they had asked. But anyway, what’s done is done, and as humans I supposed all we can really do is just sit around and try to interpret the meaning of these events, and then maybe write them down in a book, and then go around reading that book to people and then kill them if they don’t listen. But I digress, I guess what I’m trying to say here is: Easter (and, by extenstion, christianity sure is confusing!) And just to get some perspective here, let’s imagine that one of those Axis of Evil countries decided to release some bioweapons or something tomorrow, and everyone died, and 100 million years from now, some little green men from beyond the Milky Way arrived on Earth and tried to make sense of it all (Note to Editor: Is that enough perspective? =) Consider the following:
Christ, who didn’t look like much, was actually the Son of the Most Powerful Being of the Universe. Readers understood that, so, when they came to the crucifixion, they naturally thought: Oh, boy — they sure picked the wrong guy to lynch that time! And then that thought had a brother: “There are right people to lynch.” Who? People not well connected!
See what I mean? I mean, ambiguity and mixed-messages are all well and good, but this is ridiculous! I don’t know if I”m supposed to love everyone, or kill homeless bums, or try to cover my own ass or what? And then just the other day, I was down in the ghetto just randomly lighting stuff on fire (So it goes…) and I found this book in a dumpster. Now I’m totally confused… Who is this Kilgore Trout character, and did he write any other books? Oh well, I’m off to eat some ham, surely that’s one thing we can all agree upon as humans!
In the vaguely recalled year of our lord, 1994, some worthless sons-of-bitches in the UK passed a law called “The Criminal Justice Act (of 1994!)” This act made it illegal to (among other things) hold a “Rave” in the “open air” and at night. Now, since it would be well nigh impossible to enforce such a vague and ill-conceived law, and since I could go outside by myself on 3 pills of E with a sparkler and listen to a fucking Burt Bacharach CD and have a damn good time, they saw fit to define exactly what a “Rave” was. As follows:
A ‘rave’ is defined as a gathering of 100+ people, at which amplified music (’wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats’) is played which is likely to cause serious distress to the local community, in the open air and at night. These sections give the police the power to order people to leave the land if they’re believed to be preparing to hold a rave ( 2 or more people); waiting for a rave to start (10+); actually attending a rave (10+). Ignoring this direction, or returning to the land within the next week, are both offences, liable to 3 months’ imprisonment and/or a £2,500 fine. Section 65 lets any uniformed constable who believes a person is on their way to a rave within a 5-mile radius to stop them and direct them away from the area - failure to comply can lead to a maximum fine of £1000.
Right… So, I imagine after weeks of sitting through meetings and committees and focus groups and whatever other bullshit things politicians do with taxpayer’s money, they must have felt pretty damn pleased with themselves! I mean, they fucking nailed it, right? They got right down to the core of what a rave is (’repetitive beats’) and they made that illegal! Hot Damn!! Oh, except… Slight problem. Some young punks by the name of Autechre went ahead and released a record called Anti. In addition to rocking some ass (as per usual), this disc was designed to communicate a great big “Fuck You!” to the Parliamentary weasels who put this Act to paper. How did they express their dissatisfaction? As follows:
“Warning: [The first two tracks] contain repetitive beats. We advise you not to play these tracks, if the Criminal Justice Bill becomes law. Flutter has been programmed in such a way that no bars contain identical beats and can therefore be played at 45 or 33 revolutions under the proposed law. Howeve we advise DJs to have a lawyer and musicologist present at all times to confirm the non repetitive of the music in the event of police harrasment.
Important: By breaking this seal, you accept full responsibilty for any consequential action resulting from the products use, as playing the music contained within these recordings may be interpreted as oppostion to the Criminal Justice and Public Order Bill.”
That’s right… They used their new-fangled sequencers to create a piece of “Rave” music that didn’t contain any repetitive beats! Sophomoric? Perhaps, but a nice piece of musical protest, nonetheless. In the meantime, UK kids continued taking drugs, attending parties, going to school and generally going about their business. Flash forward to the United States of America, 2002… A bunch of Senators sucking around for votes introduced a bill called “Reducing Americans’ Vulnerability to Ecstasy Act of 2002” (R.A.V.E… Isn’t that so fucking cute?) Long time readers of antinomian.com may recall an earlier discussion of this legislation. Anyway thanks to the tireless work of the good people at the Drug Policy Alliance and other such organizations, this act ended up precisely where it belonged, in the damn trash. This act was utter and complete bullshit, because it placed the (impossible) burden and penalties of drug policy enforcement not on the police or the individuals responsible, but on the hapless owners of any establishment where drug use might take place. For example, if there’s a particular coffeeshop in town that you really don’t like, just get caught smoking a joint in there, and they can kiss their lease goodbye! What’s more, the act allowed police to use any “drug related paraphenalia” as probable cause for searching these businesses. Among the pieces of “drug related paraphenalia” listed: Glow-sticks and bottled water. I know, Bullshit… Bullshit… Bullshit… =) Anyhow, not content to simply watch this act wither and die, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware decided to pull the oldest trick in the book. He re-attached this misguided and wildly unpopular law to a piece of legislation almost guaranteed to pass, namely the “AMBER Alert Act,” designed to help retrieve kidnapped children! Can you see the connection between these two? Neither can I. Regardless, the amended “Springfield/Pervert” bill passed recently and now there’s nothing you can do about it!! Nyah, nyah, nyah! Welcome to the kinder, gentler America kids… Don’t let me catch you having a good time, after all… This is a country at War!
Ding dong, the witch is dead..
The Wicked witch is Dead!!
…wait, what? Oh… nevermind. I guess for now it will just have to remain a sweet, sweet dream. =)
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