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Easter Again… The day when families all across American hide eggs and eat chocolate and ponder crucifixion (okay, maybe not so much that last one, but we can forgive this minor oversight, no? =) Anyhow, this is a very special Easter, I’m sure I don’t have to remind you. Our High Priest’s prayers have all been gloriously answered, and there is peace tonight in the oil fields of Iraq, and this is surely what Jesus had in mind when he built the first SUV, over 2000 years ago! Anyway, in light of all this back-slapping and self-congratualtory fanfare, I got to thinking… President Bush is a pretty damn influential guy; I mean, his approval rating is over 73 percent as of right now, and his military manfulness is without equal. And this guy is totally down with Jesus! So with friends like these, how in hell did JC get nailed to a plank of wood in full view and with the blessing of Roman leadership so many years ago? I mean, did they not see how Imperialism-friendly Christ was? I’m sure he could have helped them out with their terrorism issues if only they had asked. But anyway, what’s done is done, and as humans I supposed all we can really do is just sit around and try to interpret the meaning of these events, and then maybe write them down in a book, and then go around reading that book to people and then kill them if they don’t listen. But I digress, I guess what I’m trying to say here is: Easter (and, by extenstion, christianity sure is confusing!) And just to get some perspective here, let’s imagine that one of those Axis of Evil countries decided to release some bioweapons or something tomorrow, and everyone died, and 100 million years from now, some little green men from beyond the Milky Way arrived on Earth and tried to make sense of it all (Note to Editor: Is that enough perspective? =) Consider the following:

Christ, who didn’t look like much, was actually the Son of the Most Powerful Being of the Universe. Readers understood that, so, when they came to the crucifixion, they naturally thought: Oh, boy — they sure picked the wrong guy to lynch that time! And then that thought had a brother: “There are right people to lynch.” Who? People not well connected!

See what I mean? I mean, ambiguity and mixed-messages are all well and good, but this is ridiculous! I don’t know if I”m supposed to love everyone, or kill homeless bums, or try to cover my own ass or what? And then just the other day, I was down in the ghetto just randomly lighting stuff on fire (So it goes…) and I found this book in a dumpster. Now I’m totally confused… Who is this Kilgore Trout character, and did he write any other books? Oh well, I’m off to eat some ham, surely that’s one thing we can all agree upon as humans!