(So the story continues…) When we last spoke, our hero America was up Shits Creek with a turd for a paddle. The “Jazz Age” of the 1920’s had given way to the “Great Depression” of the 1930’s, and things were not so hot in other parts of the world either. Which reminds me, I do apologize if my treatment of Nazism in the previous entry came off as a bit flip or anything. As will hopefully become more evident in today’s post, I’m just trying to demonstrate some of the truly asinine ways in which politicians have tried to cope with really serious problems. Anyway, on with the show…
Chapter V: The 1940’s
I think enough has been written about World War II that I can skip over most of it here. Suffice to say, the good guys won and with Europe again in ruins, the US got a big head start on the second half of the twentieth century. However, a few things worth noting; First, America proved that in the service of a noble cause, we were willing not only to fight, but to forgo luxuries at home as well. We also proved willing to to arbitrarily imprison US citizens who shared an ethnic background with our enemies, but what’s a little xenophobia between friends? By the end of the 1940’s, things had settled down to a sufficient extent that our main political concern seemed to be a pissing contest with the Russians. It was around this time that “socialist” became a dirty word and though most Americans had no real reason to hate Russia at this point, we were pretty exhausted from the war, and there was nothing good on TV (TV having only one channel at this point) so we just decided to go with it.
Chapter VI:The 1950’s
The 1950’s have a reputation for being the most boring decade of the century, but this is totally untrue; The 1990’s were the most boring decade of the century by a huge margin, and I’ll get to why this was the case in a little while. But anyway, so the US has been talking trash about Russia for awhile now, leading them to ask, “Dudes, why you been acting so messed up towards us?” There’s not really a good answer to this question, but eventually Russia decides that if we’re going to treat them like an evil empire, then they’re damn well going to act like one. To this end, Stalin starts waving his dick around, slaughtering millions of his own people, and threatening to extend communist influence throughout SE Asia, Central America and etc. Bearing in mind that socialism was still kosher until a few years previous, many of these regions are now kind of shocked to find the US setting up military bases in their backyards and pledging to help defend them from “The Red Menace.” One thing leads to another, and by the end of the decade, it’s starting to look a whole lot like a turf war at a suburban grade school, with everyone choosing up sides and colors, but no blood being spilled aside from maybe a de-pants-ing (Korea) or some egg throwing (Cuba) now and then. Anyway, the name calling continues, while both sides furiously build bombs for a war that has yet to be declared. The American people, still basking in the glory of having “made the world safe for democracy” let this all go by, and put their faith in the government’s ability to act in their best interests. As the decade draws to a close, President Eisenhower delivers probably the most prophetic speech of the century, warning his fellow countrymen not to let greedy industrialists lead them into unnecessary wars. Subsequently, all hell breaks loose in…
Chapter VII: The 1960’s
Much as the 1990’s would later start off as a seamless continuation of the preceding decade, the 1960’s are at first almost indistinguisable from the 1950’s. Business? Still booming. Communists? Still threatening. JFK promises the moon in one breath and sends “advisors” to Vietnam with the next. However, this is also where things start to get kind of weird. By the middle of the decade, a generation of Americans born since WWII have been brought up in a climate of unprecedented prosperity. Having lived through the War and the Depression their parents are thrilled to be able to give them a better life and the opportunities seem endless for these lucky kids. While many of their parents had to start working before they could graduate high school, the “Baby Boomers” (as they came to be known) got the best in math and science schooling and were then sent to prestigious liberal arts colleges to continue their education. So removed were they from the the concerns of putting food on the table and staying alive from day to day that they actually started getting involved in things like the civil rights movement and (uh-oh!) even began to question the necessity of our ongoing “conflict” with the Soviets! (Around this same time, there were also some pretty fantastic drugs going around, and a lot of kids who tried them out started wondering whether the idea of conflict in general wasn’t a bit outdated, but for the purposes of our discussion, let’s just say people were “open to new ideas”). As Eisenhower had predicted, there were some greedy industrialists who were none too pleased with all these “new ideas” they kept hearing about, and when things started getting really bad (circa 1967), they played their trump card: War! It had been awhile since the country had been involved in a good, old-fashioned war, and since we had proven our willingness to abandon personal pursuits and concerns in the service of God and country before, there was no reason to believe that it wouldn’t work the same way now. Unfortunately, all the education and privilege that had been lavished upon the postwar generation made them a bit harder sell on the concept of wholesale slaughter than previous generations, and the conflict in Vietnam actually served to worsen the problems at home! The Boomers, desiccated by their prosperous and largely apolitical upbringing were like a tinderbox in search of a spark, and an unwinnable war against a dubious enemy played this role to perfection. Mass protests broke out across the nation (even in places where rich white people lived!) and in the corridors of power, people began to ask themselves how could things have gone so bad, so quickly? And more to the point (since they hadn’t gotten rich by just thinking about stuff) what could be done about it?! In the short term, the decision was made to concede defeat to the damn, dirty hippies and pull out of Vietnam. But as they sat waxing their moustaches and sipping their port, the rich old industrialists were cooking up a fiendish plan to ensure that this sort of thing would never, ever happen again. Read all about it in tomorrow’s installment… THE 1970’s!!!