They say virgins are the new sluts, but I don’t know if I buy it. Virgin Airlines, on the other hand, is looking more attractive all the time. Consider this snippet of travelogue from Momus’ blog:
At dangerous moments (before take off, descent) when the passengers had to be controlled, white indie rock music (New Order, Oasis etc) played over the speakers. The safety instruction video featured an indie geezer who looked like Liam from Oasis, Japanese girlfriend beside him. The V:Port in-flight entertainment system recommended I “chill out” with some music videos, or relax with on-demand comedy shows. I watched one that contained this joke: “What’s white and sticky and runs down the toilet wall? George Michael’s new release.”
Coach is still coach, but at least they’re making an effort. Compare it to his last long-haul flight, on British Airways:
It might have been nice to read the Guardian, but of course BA doesn’t give you the Guardian. It doesn’t even give you the new tabloid Times. You get a choice of Telegraph or Daily Mail. Great if you’re terribly right wing, not so great otherwise.I turned to the entertainment schedule and wondered why BA doesn’t list the country of origin of the films it shows. I suppose because they would all say USA. This editorial policy is extended to the comedy channels; there’s a ‘Comedy Channel’ without national specification, showing entirely American comedies. Then there’s a ‘UK Comedy Channel’ showing British comedies. You’d think that on a British airline (flying the flag!) British comedy would be ‘Comedy’ and American comedy would be ‘US Comedy’. But apparently it’s the local culture which is considered exotic here, and requires extra labelling.
Of course, no matter how you cross the atlantic, you still end up in the same America:
There’s a TV for people queuing for their immigration interviews, but it’s not showing Ricky Gervais making jokes about sperm. It’s got CNN on with the sound down and subtitles. They’re interviewing Franklin Graham of “the Graham ministries”, Billy Graham’s son. He’s talking about “the ministry of Jesus Christ our lord and saviour.” The interviewer says “You’re known as a bit of a hell raiser, with strong views. For instance, your views on homosexuality…” Graham replies “I have a mission to give the Bible’s view on these things, and the Bible says clearly that homosexuality is a sin.” I wonder how many gay people there are in the queue, and how reassured they must have been by the gay stewards on the plane, and (possibly) by the gay jokes about toilet sex in the British comedy shows. I wonder if their hearts are sinking at this moment. Graham continues, talking about how, in his view, Islam is an “evil religion”. More hearts in the queue sink.