antinomian.com

Last night I dreamed that I was in downtown Chicago, frantically looking for someplace to take a crap. I went into one of those colleges down there… Roosevelt or Columbia or something. I snuck around until I found what looked like a really nice bathroom. The door locked, and it was super clean with a cool looking sink and everything. When I got inside, I found out there was even a shower in there. The only problem was that the toilet was made of wicker. Wicker like a clothes hamper or a table at your grandma’s house. It wasn’t just a cover either. There was no tank, no water hookups or plumbing. It was a stand-alone toilet. I guess in retrospect, it was kind of like the chair from the Burgandy Loaf sketch on Mr. Show. Except there didn’t seem to be any way to remove people’s uh… leavings from this thing, aside from maybe turning it over and shaking it. So I looked inside and down at the bottom was a plastic lunch tray, with a piece of wax paper on top of it. Oh, and a big turd. Which, surprisingly enough, didn’t smell. As I was considering whether I should make a deposit somebody knocked on the door. For some reason I got real freaked out like, “Oh no, they’re going to think I did this!” Even though, it really seemed like that’s exactly what the wicker toilet was there for. Then I woke up. Exceedingly odd!