antinomian.com

I had an idea for a reviews-based website tonight, but that’s another story. This one is about Monkey Nuts. After I checked on domaindirect.com to see whether the domain name I was considering for that reviews site was available (it wasn’t), I was amused to notice that not only was the site suggesting alternate top-level-domains like .ca and .cx, but that it had also done a thesaurus lookup of the words in my proposed domain and was checking for the availability of sites based on those as well. I’d noticed this before, but some of the ones it was coming up with tonight were particularly humorous, so I looked around my room for some other random words to type in… just for a laugh. I settled on “Monkey Nuts,” which is, believe it or not, the title of a short story by D.H. Lawrence in a collection I bought recently. So anyway… In goes “Monkey Nuts,” and out comes the funniest shit I have seen in awhile! Examples…

• apemad.com
• apeloopy.com
• gorillanuts.net
• monkeywithnuts.com (nice!)

I figured I was on to something good, and started thinking about what other words might have good thesaurus entries. After considering a couple options, I decided on “Sexy Nuts” and here are some of the results that generated…

• eroticnuts.com
• sexualpeanuts.com
• sexyloopylady.com (wha?)
• sexualcrazies.com

At this point, I figured I’d go back and work the funny animal angle for a few more laughs, but this time I went with “Donkey Nuts.” Evidently, there weren’t very many synonyms for “Donkey,” because it started kicking out stuff like…

• buydonkeynuts.com
• dodonkeynuts.com
• donkeynutsusa.com
• prodonkeynuts.com
• donkeynutsltd.com

On a roll now, I tried “bad nuts” and “good nuts” in quick succession. Some notable outcomes…

• bad-crazies.com
• poor-pecans.com
• badmadcash.com
• badnut.info
• coolnuts.org
• nice-nuts.com
• coolcoconuts.com
• thankful-psycho.com

So anyway, I’m no business guru, but looking at all of these *available* domain names, I can’t help but think that are some viable business models lurking in there! I mean, come on… BadMadCash.com! How is that not taken (by some sketchy banner-ad network)??? Or coolnuts.org? That would make a great brand name for a line of moisture-wicking underwear! Nice-nuts.com could sell stickers that say “Nice Nuts!” that you could stick on mannequins or statues (or hell, even people) that had their nuts hanging out. At the very least you could start a place that sold adult-themed gourmet nut gift baskets on the web at eroticnuts.com. In conclusion, the possibilities are endless. This shit practically writes itself. I rest my case…