The King of Little Things

I hooked up Google Webmaster Tools on my site the other day, and while I’ve been running Google Analytics for awhile now, there is some interesting data that seems to appear only in the former package. For instance, whereas Google Analytics can tell me about the (relatively small amount of) people who visit my site, and what Web searches led them there:

What it can’t fill me in on is exactly what position of Google Authority I hold on any of these pressing issues! Here’s where Google Webmaster Tools comes in… In this report I can see a similar list of keywords, but instead of being sorted by the number of hits they sent to my site, I can see (approximately) where in the Google index I appear for each query:

This does a lot to explain why such a large percentage of my visitors seem to have arrived via such humorous and unexpected searches. For instance, I get so many (11, woo!) visitors interested in entitilitus because, I happen to be the #1 world authority on the disease! Other subjects on which I am a (theoretically) reputable source of information include: antinomian[ism] (Obviously…), Obscure Charlie Brown, Beach Boys, 70′s politician & Grand Theft Auto Quotes (Again… Obviously!) and certain specifics mis-typings of the word "Google." Now as for why so many people felt compelled to dig 70 pages into their search for "Female Wrestling" to find my site, I have no idea. I can only guess that perhaps for some brief moment, I was more well-noted for my views on Female Wrestling than I am today. I am also sad to note that my Top 5 authority on the word "Fuck" appears to be an overstatement. But anyway, who can truly comprehend the mysteries of Google? Certainly not I. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go and watch a bit of Female Wrestling. Good night!